Ship Out At Sea
by ChellaC
Summary: As Lord English tears through the dream bubbles, Kankri struggles with the afterlife & particularly his feelings for a certain seadweller. As tensions mount, they are caught up in Vriska's scheme to stop the demon. But are they really doing the right thing, & can a bunch of ghosts stop the Lord of Time? & what's up with all these flushed feelings anyway? (Cronkri & some side ships)
1. Chapter 1

HOMESTUCK BELONGS TO ANDREW HUSSIE

CHAPTER 1

It didn't take long to forget the date; after all, time becomes irrelevant when an eternity without change is spread before you. When he had been alive, Kankri had wondered about immortality, as everyone destined to decay does at some point. This was not what he had imagined.

He had been one of the last to accept they were dead. Long after Porrim's eyes had gone white, he was still lecturing, stuck in a loop of habit that even his demise had not interrupted. Eventually, even he could no longer deny the truth. Yet even after the red of his eyes was gone, blank like everyone else's, nothing much changed. They were all frozen in the mindset they had died in- trapped in relationships that would've normally split apart, chained to ideals and emotions that should've grown but were now only metastasizing.

For an eternity, they drifted like debris lost at sea. And it wasn't so bad. They were together, and there was no danger. They were dead, of course, but even that seemed like no big deal breaker. Their memories and lives were preserved like the Egyptian tombs, but even those turned to dust, because nothing lasts forever.

But forever is a long time! And they aren't quite there yet. No, right now it is a sunny spring morning, and Kankri Vantas is lonely_. It's too quiet_, he thinks as he sits in the shade of the trees behind his hive. He is out of sight from anyone else who had taken a walk outside their hive, but it's unlikely he would've been interrupted even if they could've seen him.

"I'm glad you've come to visit, we have a lot to discuss," he says to no one. He had acquired the bad habit of speaking aloud to himself some time ago. It wasn't ideal, but he'd long ago run out of new things to say and people who would listen.

"I'm not really in the mood for a sermon; I hope that's alright with you. To be honest I'm feeling a bit tired, maybe we could just talk?" Kankri says.

"Sounds good to me, chief," says a voice behind him. Kankri spins around, as if there is any doubt who it is. (There isn't- Cronus' voice isn't easily mistaken.)

Sure enough, there he is, his hair greased back, the familiar shifty smile and the less familiar human cigarette hanging from his lips.

"Cronus! You can't go sneaking around like that!" Kankri exclaims.

Cronus sits down on the grass next to him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Who're you talking to?"

Kankri blushes. "No one. I mean, I wasn't talking to anybody."

"But I heard you! Ok, whatever you say, keep your little friend all to yourself," Cronus says.

"I don't have a 'little friend'. I was…talking to myself. What are you doing here? Not that you shouldn't be here, as it's public property, but I just haven't seen you in this bubble before," Kankri says, quickly changing the subject.

Cronus shrugs. "To be honest, I was looking for you. Porrim said you'd be around here somewhere."

"Oh. Is there…something you want?"

"What do you mean? I don't want anything, just wanted to see how you're doing," Cronus says.

"I see. Well, I am doing quite well. And yourself?"

"Pretty good, I've been writing some new music, you should hear it sometime. Hey, unless you wanna keep up that fascinating conversation, do you maybe wanna go do something? I don't wanna interrupt, but I'm thinking you might be as bored as I am," Cronus says.

"Hmm. While my conversation was compelling and of the utmost importance, I think I can excuse myself, just this once," Kankri says.

"Was that a joke, Vantas? Ha, well, I guess we're all a little different, huh?" Cronus says.

Kankri pushes himself up after Cronus. "I suppose. Some changes may be more desirable than others," he says, with a pointed look at the cigarette.

"Oh, this? I don't light them, I swear. That would be such a waste. The Roxy girl gave them to me," Cronus says.

"Well, if they aren't causing harm and are helping cross-culture relations, then I can't object," Kankri says. The two start walking around Kankri's hive, into the field where most of the hives were spaced around. "Did you have anywhere in mind?" Kankri asks.

"I could think of a couple places," Cronus says, raising his eyebrows. "Kidding!" He adds immediately after seeing the look on Kankri's face. "I was honestly thinking the beach, I know it's not your favorite, but…I haven't gone in a while and we don't have to stay long."

"That sounds fine, of course," Kankri says. It's true that the beach would not be his first choice, but he has noticed the violet blood's less frequent trips. He's not sure if being there raises too many memories from their former lives, or if Cronus simply has no one willing to go with him. He suspects the latter.

The scenery warps around them, the trees and grass melting into sand and rolling waves. The air turns salty and sticky. The sound of water crashing against rocks fills the air.

Cronus grins, and Kankri allows a small smile to tug at his lips. The sea dweller tugs his shirt over his horns with some difficulty- the fabric is almost stuck before he pulls it free with a final tug.

"Are you gonna swim, Kankri?" He asks.

"I don't think so. Do you mind if I read for awhile?" Kankri asks.

"Nah, that's ok," Cronus says. He walks towards the water, but starts to run with a childish excitement. He hits the water and dives into a wave, sending a spray of sea foam into the air. Kankri is alarmed for half a second when he doesn't come back up, but then remembers his gills. Feeling embarrassed at this lapse of common sense, he hides his face in his book. It's a paperback novel Porrim had lent him, some torrid romance involving lowlbloods and rainbow drinkers having secret relationships with highbloods. The subject matter used to horrify him, and he still has to suppress outrage at some particularly offensive moments, but after an eternity, his old reading material had gotten a bit dry. He'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy Porrim's novels to some extent. Not that anyone would ever know that, not even really her, as he always returned them full of sticky notes notating triggers and insensitive literary slurs. She would just smirk upon seeing this. He suspects she might not be entirely convinced he doesn't enjoy them.

Kankri becomes engrossed in the story. The author has begun detailing a scene involving an olive blood and a tyrian, and it's all getting a little graphic. Kankri doesn't notice Cronus standing in front of him until a drop of water lands on the page. He looks up, and for the second time that day jumps.

"C-Cronus! What did I just tell you about sneaking!"

"Sorry Kankri, I didn't want to disturb you, you looked really into that book. What is this book, anyway?" Cronus says with a smirk.

Kankri closes it, shielding the cover with his sleeves. "It's nothing. It's about… the dynamics of lusus relations within contemporary society, you wouldn't like it."

"That's not what I read! I don't think you're giving me a chance, come on, I can read about lusus society…thing you said."

"No! I mean, no, I'm done reading for now; I have plenty of books you can borrow on the subject back at my hive. Let's go swimming."

"Really?" Cronus says.

"Yes, sure, that sounds nice," Kankri says, quickly captchalogging the book.

"So…you gonna swim in your sweater?" Cronus says.

Kankri looks down at himself. "I…no, I guess not." Say what you like about dream bubbles, but they are nothing if not convenient for spontaneous wardrobe changes. After changing into swim trunks, Kankri finds himself up to his knees in freezing ocean water.

"Come on Vantas, it's not that cold!" Cronus says.

"Not everyone possess your lower internal temperature, not to mention your naturally quick adaptation to freezing water, and it is rude to assume so," Kankri says, hugging his arms across his chest.

"Whoa, just joking around, sorry!" Cronus says, splashing Kankri. The Cancer yelps, glaring at Cronus.

"Oh, is that how you want to play, Ampora?" Kankri splashes him back, but Cronus just laughs and ducks under water. Kankri feels a tug on his ankle, and is pulled under the surface where he promptly swallows a lung full of water. He comes up choking.

"Hey, easy there!" Cronus says, slapping him on the back. Because of course that's what you do to a drowning person, just give them a friendly, spine breaking slap to the back.

"You can't talk under water Kankri, it's generally a good idea to keep your mouth closed. Just letting you know, I wouldn't want you to choke or anything," Cronus says.

"I really appreciate that sentiment Cronus, if only everyone was as considerate as you, I would never have to open my mouth again," Kankri says once the coughing has subsided.

"You know me, always looking out for everyone. That's the kind of guy I am," Cronus says, smiling.

"The kind of guy who pulls unsuspecting bystanders under water! I know this may come as a shock to you, but we do not all possess your seadweller anatomy."

"Aw, come on, you're ok, and now you're used to the water, aren't you?"

They spend the afternoon at the beach, and then head for their separate hives. Kankri is exhausted- it's been the most excitement he's had in the bubbles in awhile. On his way home, he can't help but notice an ominous crackling in the distance, like charged air after a lightning strike. The bubbles have never been anything but stable, there's no reason for that to change now.

Whatever it may be, he doesn't spend long contemplating it before slipping into the recuperacoon. For once, Kankri Vantas does not worry. Much.

((This is my first time posting a fic, so I'd love any feedback you have on how to improve! I'm trying very hard to not be OOC. Thanks for reading!))


	2. Chapter 2

"So Kankri, how have you been? It's been awhile since you've been over here," Porrim says.

He sits beside her on the lounge chair in her hive as her nimble fingers work at the sewing machine. He watches as she deftly maneuvers the machine, creating patterns and intricately woven lines of fabric. He'd always held a certain admiration for this skill of hers; to create something both beautiful and useful; something she could give to others and know was appreciated. Porrim didn't even need to be especially talented to be well liked. She had all the charisma, all the influence and respect he fought so hard- too hard- for. At first, this caused a tension to their relationship. Kankri could be jealous when the mood hit him.

Now, they'd managed to move on, for the most part, from their childish disputes. Of course there were still arguments, but they had a functional pale relationship. Neither of them called it moirallegiance, for their own reasons. For Kankri, it had been so long with empty quadrants he'd lost the feeling of having them. For Porrim, it had been so long without steady quadrants she'd discarded the use of labeling them. It worked better this way for them both.

"I'm doing quite well, thank you for asking. And yourself?" He says.

Porrim finishes her knitting- a blue scarf. She folds it and sets it aside, moving to sit behind Kankri. She starts making little braids in his hair.

"What are you doing?"

"Shh! You're so tense, I'm helping you relax. Don't tell me having your hair played with doesn't feel nice."

He shifts uncomfortably, but quits whining and eventually settles against her.

Porrim continues, "I'm doing well. Aranea has been stopping by quite frequently. The girl talks almost as much as you, I swear. But I know how to keep your type quiet," She says with a small smirk.

"Porrim what are you implying!"

"Kidding, Kanny. Anyway, so what's up with you? I hope you haven't been moping around your hive this entire time, you can't just cut everyone off like that."

Kankri sighs. "Does anyone actually care? No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. It's selfish of me to assume my absence is more welcomed than my presence; I just needed some time to myself, to think. I just- well, I thought a little space would be best for all of us, actually. No one really wants to talk anyway."

"Kan, don't be like that. We've talked about this before, haven't we? I told you- it's not that nobody wants to talk. It's the opposite. You don't give them a chance."

"I know, we have indeed had this conversation before. But I'll have you know I was not 'moping around'. I did have some social interaction, I am not a recluse. Just because it wasn't with you doesn't mean I did not spend time with anyone."

"Take down the attitude. Ok I'm curious; who did you hang out with?"

Kankri is quiet for a second, and then says, "Cronus stopped by, and we went to the beach."

Porrim pulls a knot in his hair.

"Ouch!"

"Ampora?! That's who you decided to talk to? At the _beach_?"

Kankri twists around to give her a cross expression. "For one thing, I'll have you know Cronus and I had many interesting conversations before we played the game and ended up here. Just because you've forgotten that does not mean they never took place. I am very aware of your opinion of him, and I can't say I disagree completely, but he came looking for me, not anyone else. And yes, the beach. We had a lovely time."

"A lovely time, I'll bet you did. Kankri just say the word and I'll make sure his gills aren't working for a week. Did he try to make a move on you?"

"No! God, Porrim, please stop, I don't want to hear you speak of him or anyone else this way. I know you find him offensive, and I respect that. I've never asked the two of you to get along anymore than to be polite to one another. You know he's never been like that with me, and I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. That was the first nice thing anyone has done for me in awhile, excluding you of course, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't try to make it out as something it wasn't."

"He doesn't do nice things for other people Kankri, that's the thing. He says he does, maybe he even thinks so at this point, but he's never been anything but a selfish child. He's needy and he was just as lonely as you, and do you honestly think he has anyone to spend time with?"

Kankri stiffens, standing up and pulling himself from Porrim's reach.

"I see. So poor lonely Cronus, who has no friends, goes looking for me because he knows I won't be doing anything, and he takes advantage of that."

"Wait, that's not what I meant, you know it's not."

"No, Porrim, I am so tired of this. You may be right about him. That's not the point. I just wanted to talk to you, but as usual we cannot progress beyond petty bickering. Quite frankly, I don't care that it was him; it could've been any of our friends who finally wanted to see me. But it wasn't, and I just wanted…to think it was ok, to not care who it was, for just a little while."

"You can't just wait around for people to want to talk to you," she says.

Kankri had worked at disabling his mechanical responses, making his voice sound alive and animated rather than monotone and robotic. Over time in the dream bubbles he had made progress. The habit of always correcting others, the incessant urge to smooth his speech into a neat, flat progression, the itch to point out any and every little comment that could even be infinitesimally construed as offensive- he'd managed to reign in the worst of it. But now, he feels that wall close back down in his throat.

"I appreciate your time and concern Porrim, however I must warn you about implying that there is anything wrong with being idle. I am not personally offended, however some may be triggered by your comments, particularly your earlier remark pertaining to bodily harm, specifically to a sea dweller's anatomy, in this case their gills. The gills are extremely sensitive and biologically imperative to their wellbeing, and any troll who has suffered any sort of gill trauma may well have found your statement very insensitive. I advise you to refrain from threats, especially species-specific ones, in the future. I'd love to continue this discussion another time, perhaps later, but if you'll excuse me I have some business to attend to. I'm sincerely sorry our time was cut short, it's rather rude of me, and I hope you are not offended, as that is not my intention," he says. She starts to say something, but the bubble is already shifting around him.

_Do you honestly think he has anyone to spend time with?_ She hadn't said, _anyone else_, but she might as well have. Kankri didn't want to think that about Cronus, or about himself. Was he really that bad, that no one would spend time with him unless there was not a single other soul available? No, Porrim spent time with him, and she certainly had other people she could be with… But she, well, her blood…

Kankri tries to push away thoughts of blood color but he cannot. He sinks to the ground on the steps he has traveled to, clutching his head in his hands as a flood of thoughts threatens to drown him.

_She only keeps you around out of obligation_, he thinks. _You're an anomaly, a freak. She is a jade blood and so it is in her lineage to be a caretaker for the weak. Cronus, he is practically royalty. With blood so high, it's his job to take care of those lower than himself, and who could be lower than you? You're like a pet, a pretty pet kept out of novelty and platonic pity. With blood so low not even a lusus would take you, only a few sweeps old and then culled-_

He shakes his head and snaps himself out of those thoughts with difficulty. His throat is starting to constrict, and he's embarrassed by how worked up one little spat with Porrim has made him.

_It was a slip of the tongue. Don't think that way about the others, or yourself, you know it's not true. And if it is, well, it doesn't matter much anymore._

He takes a moment to slow his breathing back to normal, but gives himself no more time to indulge in self-pity, afraid that if he starts he won't be able to stop.

Rubbing at his eyes and taking measured breaths, he rises back to his feet. Just in time. He hears steps behind him, and is soon met with the face of his descendant. And then…he's talking, and talking, and…talking. Karkat is left completely speechless.

After who knows how long, Meenah appears, with Vriska in tow.

"Hey, shouty! And Kankri," Meenah says.

"Hey, Meenah…Vriska," Karkat says.

"Hello Meenah, and young Serket. How can we be of assistance? I was just telling Karkat here-"

"Yo, Kanks. I'd love to catch up with you; I can only imagine you've got an eternity full of stuff to tell me. But, do you think you could clam up, and wait here for a sec? Me an other you have somefin to discuss," Meenah says.

"Oh, of course. I'll be right here. I look forward to seeing you later, Karkat."

Meenah and Karkat leave, but to Kankri's surprise Vriska remains.

"It's Vriska, isn't it? Pardon me for not being entirely sure, I don't believe I've had the pleasure of making your acquaintance yet. Not that I should have, I'm certainly not implying that I,"

"You bet I'm Vriska, the one and only," she interrupts, giving him a smirk. She looks him up and down critically for a moment, as though judging him. Apparently she determines him worthy, for her expression sobers up and her next words are serious. "Has Meenah told you about her plan yet?"

"Ah, well, not personally yet, no, but I've heard of it from others. Porrim told me she is recruiting an army?"

Vriska nods. "Yup! Well, the plan has undergone a few changes! She's now working with me, but I'm leading the mission. We're combining her army with my treasure hunt. I'll be the captain of our fleet, and using all the ghosts we'll be able to map out where my treasure is."

Kankri had all kinds of things to say about her use of the word, 'ghosts' but something about her makes him not want to get into an argument. So instead he says, "That sounds like a strategic and most likely effective mission, although I'm not sure I comprehend the ramifications of your use of the inhabitants of the bubbles for your own gain."

"Cut the carp, as Meenah would say, Vantas. You seem like a smart guy. Long winded, sure, but hey, I've dealt with that type before. So both you and I know this whole place is going down if someone doesn't mess shit up. The end justifies the means," Vriska says.

Kankri's eyes narrow slightly. "I'm not sure if I agree."

"I thought you'd say that. I've got you figured out. Of course you can't say you agree, because you're holier than us common people, aren't you? You're completely on your high hoofbeast! But you think about it, Vantas. Think about it for just a minute! There are a hundred iterations of both you and I running around out here not doing a thing, while the real version of me has so many irons in the fire I need all the Vriskas I can get!"

"Those other iterations are just as much you and I as we are. There is no 'real' version, there is only the alpha timeline and its many doomed offshoots," Kankri says.

Vriska snorts. "Yeah, sure. That's true. But are you telling me you'd feel the same way about an alternate version of one of your friends? I wouldn't, it's hard enough keeping the ones I know in line! Sacrifices must be made, and you only get three options in the matter, Vantas. One, you suck it up and do what needs to be done; you make the sacrifice! Two, you are the sacrifice. And three, you're the one left on the sidelines, knowing it needs to be done, but being too weak to do it yourself. So you let someone else do the dirty work. That's me, Kankri- I'm the one picking up the slack! I may not be the most popular right now, but no one can ever say I didn't do what had to be done."

"That may very well be so, Vriska. As a Seer, I know this is how it is. As a blood player, I also know when sacrifice is necessary. But as an individual, as a member of society, I refuse to reconcile your actions. These are not pawns in a game, these are lives we're discussing, and you would have them destroyed, used as bait?"

"Lives! A very relative term, don't you think? What is this thing you and I are doing, Kankri? I haven't been dead too long- you, on the other hand, have spent way too long here! This isn't a life, it's stalling. You say you're a Seer. So tell me, do you see any future in this limbo worth sticking around for? No! Because we're on borrowed time, and I hate to owe a debt, don't you? Some of these spirits have reached far past their expiration dates, and honestly your shelf lives were never meant to last this long! We're growing stale here, and I'm not gonna sit around and watch myself become irrelevant."

"No one is irrelevant; it's ignorant to assume that any life is without value, even a life such as this. Because, we may all have died, but I don't think we are truly dead, because we're still here, aren't we? We are existing in preserved memories, and for a person such as yourself this might not seem glamorous, but it's the only thing that's left, and most of us haven't been anywhere else for a very long time, so what else do we have? We have no context to put your mission in, no motivation to embark on a journey of self-sacrifice for a goal we have no stake in, and no place in reality anywhere but here!" Kankri didn't mean to get worked up, but by the end of that exclamation his voice had risen considerably. First getting upset after talking to Porrim, now being practically interrogated by yet another Serket, as though one were not already too much to handle. After so long drifting along complacently, things seem to be happening very fast.

While he tries to catch his breath and reign his composure back in, Vriska looks smug. She flips her hair over her shoulder and looks down at him as though he were a stubborn pet she had just taught a new trick. But rather than being appreciative of him, there is only pride swimming in the milky depths of her eyes.

"You've put some thought into this. I think I've done enough, but let me leave you with one more thing- you may have been without a sign on Beforus, but you have one on Alternia, and there's not a single troll who doesn't know it. I don't have all the answers, but I know a lot of them! And I don't think the idea of sacrifice is a new concept to you. You're not the Vantas I know, but you are the one who led some big changes, way back when! Of course, nothing like my ancestor. But we can't all be as great as her. Just keep that in mind, ok Kankri? I've gotta go now, all the irons in the fire and all that. But I think I'll be seeing you!" She laughs, starting to walk away, adding over her shoulder, "At least _some_ version of you!"

Kankri is left dumbfounded, not entirely sure what had just happened. One thing is for certain, and that is he does not want to be on this Serket's bad side any time soon. Or really anywhere near her at all.

_Who does she think she is, ripping apart the constitution of our reality? And comparing me to the Sufferer- well, at least I have a chance to share yet again why I refuse to be associated with his methods. Using innocent beings to attract the demon, just for her map- well, the stereotypical violent nature of Alternians is certainly proving to hold some grains of truth._

Despite these thoughts, her words bounce around in his head, remaining stuck there like the too-sweet aftertaste of candy, quickly souring. You could hardly blame him for ignoring her words; having someone else's version of the truth served before you is a messy business, and not one that many people are adequately prepared for.


	3. Chapter 3

It's been exactly six days since Kankri's dispute with Porrim, and exactly eight since he's seen Cronus. He knows because he's started counting again.

With his chest full of a feeling he can't explain and more happiness than he's felt since he can't remember when, he goes looking for Cronus.

Kankri doesn't allow himself to hesitate before knocking on the door to Cronus' hive. It's set at the furthest edge from the others, and it feels secluded, almost isolated, from where it reposes in the shade.

Immediately he hears laughter from inside, and a girl's voice shout, "Come in!"

Swallowing down the nerves, he pushes open the door with anxiety lodged in his throat. It's been longer than he cares to admit since he visited anyone directly at their hive without invitation…but he'd been thinking about the beach, and sorely lacking in anyone to talk to besides Porrim…

He steps inside.

"Hello Cronus, Roxy. Ah, if I may ask, what are you two doing?" Kankri asks.

Cronus' face lights up and his fingers still over the guitar in his hands. He and Roxy sit cross legged on the floor, surrounded by a scattered deck of cards. Off to the side is a box labeled Monopoly.

"Hey, Kankri! Roxy agreed to teach me a couple human games, so I was playing her a song to show my gratitude." Cronus says.

"Oh, I'm sorry for interrupting," Kankri says. This would normally be the time where he'd launch into a long goodbye, and then abscond. But he doesn't. Something about Cronus sitting there with his goofy grin, holding the guitar, and Roxy's smiling face as she gathers and shuffles the cards makes him want to stay.

"Hey there, don't worry, you're just in time! If you're not busy, that is. Of course, what we're doing is way more awesome, so you should totes stay," Roxy says.

"Yeah, want to join us Kan?" Cronus asks.

"I just thought I would come say hello," Kankri says hesitantly. He hadn't been bargaining on Roxy's company- it had taken enough energy just to work up the nerve to come visit Cronus, let alone an alien.

"Well you want to play? I think we were just about to start Monopoly," Roxy says.

"Oh, well, I don't know how to play, and I don't want to just invite myself over," Kankri says.

"Kankri, sit down, you're fine. We want you to play, Roxy says it's better with more than two players anyway," Cronus says.

Kankri nods and sits delicately in between them as Roxy spreads out the board game.

"Here, Cronus should be the car. I'll be the shoe; you can be the hat Kankri!" Roxy says, handing them the game pieces as well as several slips of colored paper.

"Why am I a hat?" Kankri asks.

"It's just the piece you move around the board, like a place keeper. It doesn't really mean anything," Roxy says.

It takes quite a while for her to explain the rules, as the boys have serious trouble catching on. Well, mostly Cronus does, but Kankri makes sure the other boy knows he is just as confused. He wouldn't want Cronus to feel bad about not understanding human games.

Once they start, Cronus spends all his money within five turns.

"Wow Cro, I didn't even know it was possible to go broke that quick!" Roxy says, laughing.

"Well, I told you we should've started with more money!" Cronus pouts.

Roxy just laughs at him. "Oh my god, that's not how it works. Sorry mister fish royalty, everyone's got the same amount of cash in Monopoly! No one stands a chance against me; I got the board game skills all covered. Don't feel bad, you'll catch on."

The lecture is at the tip of Kankri's tongue, ready to explain to Roxy just why you don't say something like 'mister fish royalty', but- Cronus just laughs. Like it hadn't bothered him at all, as though nothing said had been troubling in the slightest.

"Yeah yeah, whatever Lalonde. We'll see who's talking once I figure out how to play this, say goodbye to winning so easily," he says, grinning at her.

After another half hour of playing and Cronus idly strumming his guitar, they call it a tie.

"This game takes forever! Sorry guys, we'll have to continue this date another time, I gotta run!" Roxy says.

Cronus gives her a hug, saying, "Bye Rox, thanks for stopping by."

"Anytime fish boy. Next time we're watching Harry Potter, you're so going to love it," she says with a wink before walking out the door.

"So, just you and me Kanks," Cronus smirks.

"Ah, yes, it would appear so," Kankri says, playing with the slightly frayed edges of his sleeves.

"How've you been? I haven't seen you since the beach, and that was…"

"Eight days ago," Kankri says.

Cronus looks at him in surprise, a smile creeping across his face. "You counted?"

"Yes, I have started keeping track of the days again! It feels quite nice to have some frame of reference, no matter how relative," Kankri says.

"You started counting that day?" Cronus asks.

Kankri is taken aback by the question and by his tone. "Well, I hadn't realized, but yes that was the day I started counting."

Cronus looks like he's about to say something, but closes his mouth, a tiny, almost bashful smile on his face. Then he says, "Do you wanna go for a walk or something? I don't know about you, but I don't feel like staying cooped up in here on such a nice day."

"That sounds nice, if you don't have any more dates planned," Kankri says with a little smile and a slight raise to his eyebrows.

Cronus laughs, saying, "Actually, I've got one with Meenah for lunch and a movie date with Rufioh at five. Nah, Roxy's a nice kid; she was just showing me some human stuff. Ya know me Kanny, I've been free for eternity."

"Well, you're not free today. Come on, bring your guitar."

They find a shady clearing next to a small creek in a memory of the forest.

Cronus strums his guitar and croons, "A little less conversation, a little more action please,"

"Troll Elvis Presley, really Cronus?" Kankri says, rolling his eyes.

Cronus ignores him and launches into the song. His voice gets more and more off key, climbing higher in pitch until Kankri is laughing too hard to find the breath to castigate him for his choice in song lyrics.

"Come on Vantas, I know you know the words, don't lie to me. There's no one here to trigger," Cronus says, leaning towards the other boy and grinning with his mouth full of shark-like teeth.

Kankri surprises them both when he actually does join Cronus in singing the final chorus of the song.

"You sing like an angel Kankri, fucking perfect," Cronus says.

Kankri blushes, saying, "Well, I don't normally sing…but I figured you could use a little help."

"Oh, that hurts Vantas! Come on, you know you can't resist this voice," Cronus says, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Cronus Ampora, do not give me that look!" Kankri says, laughing. "I apologize, I was only kidding, of course you sound amazing."  
"Aw, thanks Kan, that means a lot coming from you. If only everyone were so sensible," Cronus says, but his smile is light and joking. The passage of time slips both of their minds as they allow the afternoon to age.


	4. Chapter 4

Kankri walks into the hive he shares with Porrim, looking forward to a long discussion about all of the things suddenly crowding his mind. About the way things are fitting into place now that he once again has a meager grasp on time, about Meenah, and the uneasiness that accompanies these new feelings he has and how he doesn't know where to put them. It's about time they reconciled their last argument. The past day with Roxy and Cronus had left him feeling lighter and willing to apologize for walking out on her.

But when he walks inside, he finds her…occupied.

"Oh…um, wow, oops, I'll just go now," he says, attempting to leave before he is noticed, his face burning.

"Kankri Vantas!" Porrim yells. She has torn her face away from Aranea's and looks absolutely livid.

Aranea looks more like an embarrassed blueberry. She quickly smoothes her dress and hair.

"I'm sorry!" Kankri squeaks, frozen to the spot. "Oh no, Porrim, oh dear, I really must inform you that engaging in flushed activities in a shared hive without informing the other party is extremely problematic."

"This is not what it looks like Kankri, I promise," Aranea says. "We aren't even, well what I mean is, you have very poor timing…"

Porrim facepalms. "Kankri, we were just kissing, calling this 'flushed activities' does not help at all."

Kankri's face feels like a furnace. He takes a deep breath, scolding himself for becoming so flustered at what had been, after all, just a kiss.

"Well I'm sincerely sorry, oh, I didn't mean to intrude, I'll just leave I guess," but he doesn't move.

Porrim sighs and turns to Aranea, whispering, "I'm sorry, I should've taken this somewhere more private. I need to talk to Kankri, I'll see you later."

Aranea, still blushing, nods and says, "Goodbye Kankri, and Porrim, I'll see you two later. I'm sorry Kankri, I hope you're not triggered or…anything… ok, goodbye," and with that, she hurrying outside, her footsteps heard rushing out until the door closes.

"Oh, Porrim, I r-really am sorry for disrupting you," Kankri says.

"It's perfectly fine; this your hive as well, after all. But for the love of god, next time please make an attempt at leaving quietly, or consider knocking, if only to save Aranea the mortification," Porrim says.

Kankri sits beside her on the couch. He looks down, fiddling with his sleeves. "Sorry." They both go quiet for a moment.

"I can sew you something else, if you'd like," Porrim says, breaking the silence. "I know you didn't really want to wear this."

"No! Ah, I mean, that's alright, you don't need to spend any more time making me things, this is fine," Kankri says.

Porrim raises an eyebrow. Her piercings glint in the fading light from outside. "Alright, if you say so. I hadn't realized you'd grown so attached."

Kankri looks down at his lap. When he speaks, his voice is small.

"Karkat doesn't wear our color."

Porrim tries to hide her surprise, but she can't stifle a sharp intake of breath.

"Oh, Kanny. Why would you even think about something like that?"

"Does he think…I mean I know he does, but, is it bad? That I wear it, I mean? Oh, I can't believe I'm saying this; it's against everything I always purport! But... and I really do sound childish, but his team listens to him, even Meenah is taken with him, and maybe that's why no one listens to me? Does it…do I…do I disgust them? I understand this is offensive subject matter and in no way do I advocate for this way of thinking at all because I know it is a toxic viewpoint, yet I can't help but imagine…"

Porrim grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him closer. "I don't ever want to hear you talk about yourself like this, Kankri Vantas. You're not making any sense. How could you ever think something like that, of course you don't disgust them! Karkat is not you- he grew up in a different world!"

"I hear the things they say," Kankri says, his voice little more than a whisper.

"Kanny…I don't know what you've heard, but what you're saying simply isn't true. I honestly thought you were above this- I had no idea you had these insecurity issues."

"Oh you wouldn't, would you? It's not something I try to advertise! I don't have insecurity issues, Porrim, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't trivialize my feelings, your word choice is very condescending." He says, fighting back the quaver in his voice.

"Ok, we're not going to fight again so soon, just- try to gather yourself. I can't talk to you when you're being like this," Porrim says.

"Like what?"

"Like a child! I'm trying to give you a chance, stop firing back at everything I say!" Porrim exclaims.

"I'm not your child, Porrim, and this 'human mother' act is not one I endorse so please stop insisting upon it, and don't call me Kanny," he says.

That seems to hit her a little harder than he had intended. Rather than letting him go, she only holds him tighter, ignoring his attempts to shrug her off.

"No, you're certainly not my child. I am not your caretaker. But… god damn it, I can still try and be here. Don't you see what you're doing to me, Kann- Kankri? I'm trying the best I can, and I'm sorry that it will never be enough. Neither of us asked for any of this, so we're going to have to make what we can of it. The fact of the matter is that you and Karkat share nothing but a sign and a color. And maybe a habit of being a bit verbose, but that's neither here nor there. Now get a hold of yourself and tell me what's wrong or I swear I'm going to smack you so hard you end up on the hemospectrum!"

"PORRIM!" Kankri yells, completely outraged. "That was so- I cannot even- triggered! Do you even comprehend to an infinitesimal degree the flagrant nature of that comment? To start, you threatened me with physical harm, and I shouldn't have to explain why that is problematic, but even worse was the implied idea that one can be forced onto the hemospectrum by way of inflicting pain, which is just medieval and, pardon my language, really fucking rude, particularly to off-spectrum identifying polybloods."

"Ugh, shut up or tell me what is bothering you!" She says, shaking him. She looks at his face, so red with emotion it's practically glowing, at his disheveled hair and flaming eyes, and she starts to laugh.

"What are you laughing at? You are so- intolerable! I absolutely cannot stand you!" He yells, but then he's laughing too. Because it's always been this way with her. Since he was transferred to the care of her lusus and she took him in like a brother, despite the fact that the concept should have been foreign to them. She's the only one who can joke like this and have him know she doesn't mean it, that it's all good natured because she has his best interests at heart, and always has.

It takes them both awhile to calm back down, but once they do, Porrim says, "I'm sorry, that comment may have crossed the line a bit. But seriously, what's wrong?"

"Hmm, well, for now we can move on, but rest assured I have plenty more to say on that matter. It's just… I'm worried I'll never be able to accomplish anything here. You know I don't approve of the methods of my alternate self, but nothing I've ever done has produced any great achievements. I'm disheartened that Karkat types in grey, and I'm afraid the only way the privilege of my blood can be exercised is when it's spilling out of me; oh, trigger warning for mentions of bloodshed. I'm already dead, so that kind of sacrifice is out of the question, and to be honest, martyrdom has never been a very appealing idea anyway," he says.

"I don't think it's appealing to many people," Porrim says. "Kankri, I know you take these things very seriously, but have you ever considered trying to let it go? Like you said, we're dead- the things you're trying to fix no longer exist except in our memories, and even those are fading."

"But, if the problems are gone and I did nothing to aid in that process, as you so claim, then what are we even doing here?" He asks, a twinge of desperation in his voice.

Porrim laughs. "Kankri, I want you to think about what you just said. We are somewhat obsolete, and I know that terrifies you, but it's the truth! You don't need to try so hard! You want me to tell you what you do now? Have fun Vantas, that's what the rest of us are doing. For god's sake, it's the afterlife; absolutely no harm can be done by letting yourself go a little. I too wish to change the incorrect standards accepted by our society, but it doesn't have to be something which consumes your whole existence."

_Have fun Vantas, that's what the rest of us are doing. The things you're trying to fix no longer exist. No harm can be done by letting it go._

_ You say you're a Seer. So tell me, do you see any future in this limbo worth sticking around for? No! Because we're on borrowed time, and I hate to owe a debt, don't you?_

Both Vriska's and Porrim's words bounce around in his skull along with the ticking of the clock he has reset, a personal timer only valid in his head. And none of it makes sense, and he can't reconcile these words in his mind. All at once he remembers why he came looking for her.

"Porrim! It's been seven whole days since we last talked, I counted! I think you might be right, at least about a couple things, but I know we are far from obsolete. Important things are happening, oh, that girl Vriska, she told me! Porrim it's been seven days since I talked to her, too- do you think they've left already, do you think anyone from our group actually took them up on the offer?" He says.

"What are you talking about? Have you finally snapped?" Porrim asks, looking at him as though he'd sprouted a second head.

His voice is taught, like an elastic band stretched and ready to fly. His words are clipped and sharp. "Porrim, I would like to apologize for my behavior, and to thank you. You have given me many interesting points to consider, and I'm going to need a little while to prepare my counterpoints. I think I should talk with Karkat again; certainly there is no better way to learn about Alternian culture than through him. Oh, and please, a warning next time about when I should be expecting the company of any of your flushed flings in the future. This is all very thought-provoking, I'm not quite sure what is going on, but I think it's something important."

Porrim rolls her eyes. "Whatever you say, mister revolutionary. Don't get yourself into trouble."

"Yes because that's me, trouble-maker extraordinaire," he says, a hint of a grin on his face.

"Haha. You're on a roll today. No promises about Aranea though," Porrim says, earning herself a reproachful glare. They converse for the better part of the afternoon, or what qualifies as afternoon here, before Porrim finally takes her leave to meet Kanaya. The two of them have been meeting frequently, always scheduling when the next time they'll be able to see each other again comes around.

Sitting alone in their hive, Kankri is once again grabbed by that feeling of- something. Something gold and fluttery that nestles in his obsolete lungs, something his team has been sorely lacking for quite some time. It blinks and rustles gingerly, a fragile and fleeting thing. He gets up, unable to sit still, suddenly feeling caged in by his familiar home.

He steps outside, strolling absentmindedly, not paying much attention to the changes of scenery around him, too wrapped up in controlling the little eddies and sways like currents in his mind, the stirring of an almost forgotten feeling, now blinking awake drowsily.

At first he's unsure why he has ended up in this particular memory. It certainly wouldn't have been the one he would have intended to visit, if he had been thinking properly. But then he sees a familiar head of black hair and a white shirt sitting at a picnic table with the human he recalls as Dave.

Both are bent over the table, heads inclined towards an electronic lying before them. They share a pair of ear buds. An unsettling, almost disturbed feeling settles in Kankri's stomach as he looks at Cronus' eyes. Though his face is tilted towards Dave, it's impossible to tell what those blank, milky slates are focused on, and the barely perceptible shift as they move is nearly invisible. They had used to be so animated, a shockingly vivid shade of lavender. Kankri sometimes forgets what all their eyes had once looked like, especially his own, the violent tone of red now remembered only in lines of text. He thinks it's a strange thing for them to have lost, the individuality of their eyes. They're said to be the windows to your soul. Kankri doesn't know much about that, or put much stock into it, but if that's the case then the blinds must be shut. The alternative way of thinking, that the soul is now blank as their irises, is not so appealing. The curtains are just closed on these windows, that's all.

"Hey Kan, what are you doing here? Didn't know you still frequented this bubble," Cronus calls. Dave looks up with a subtle nod of his head.

Kankri walks over to them, glancing around at the park. In truth, it's not one of his favorite memories. He'd only been allowed out for a walk here occasionally, when his first cull-given family had been feeling generous. Their benevolence was not difficult to earn, but they had liked to keep him on a short leash, after all; he was fragile, destined to die young before accomplishing anything, and so it must be best to keep him inside where it's safe, right?

He forcibly shuts off those thoughts. He reminds himself to be grateful he had been transferred to the care of Porrim's lusus, that he hadn't been culled on Alternia, where the results, though no less problematic, were a bit more… fatal, to say the least.

Shaking himself back to the present, he says, "Hello Cronus and Dave. No, I don't make visiting this particular area habit. Are you two busy at the moment? If so I'll leave you to it, but of course I'd love to stay and have a word if you aren't otherwise occupied."

"Nah, have a seat. You'll like this, Dave's showing me a bit of human culture," Cronus says, patting the bench next to him.

"Oh, you're Karkat's…whatever the hell. Talky Karkat, that's what you are. Nah, Kankri, that's who this is, undeniably so, nice to finally get a name for the face, I've heard a few things about you," Dave says.

"Oh?" Kankri says, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you know how gossip flies around this place like it's some kind of fucking cheap bread thrown into the mouths of hungry pigeons, except we're the pigeons, and instead of bread it's just all of this crap I don't really care about. Then again I'm just a doomed Dave, what do I know."

Kankri finds himself a bit unsure what to say. Dave's eyes are obscured by black sunglasses, so he hadn't been sure if the boy was just passing through or not. It got difficult keeping up with all these alternate ghosts; truthfully he tried to avoid new confrontations, afraid to offend someone by asking on their current corporeal status.

"Yup, you know, you're kind of a big deal Kankri, of course someone was bound to mention you, just in passing, to Dave. Now Strider has got to get going, don't you? You've got people to see, more sick beats to lay, all that good stuff," Cronus says quickly, putting a hand on Dave's shoulder.

Dave smirks. "And in a brilliant display of subtlety, Ampora has changed the subject in the least noticeable way possible. You ought to be giving lessons, shit is smooth as fuck. Ok I'm out; I've had enough of fish aliens talking my ears off. Later," Dave says, getting up and tugging the earbuds around his phone. He walks across the park with a small wave. He joins a girl with a headband in her short hair, and the two continue on into another bubble.

Once he is gone, Cronus is left with a slight relief and a confused Kankri.

"What in the world was he talking about at the end of that conversation? Cronus, it's not very hospitable of you to go pushing other people away from the conversation like that," Kankri says.

"Sorry, should've been more diplomatic with that… So what's going on with you?" Cronus says.

And remembering his once violet eyes, now so…alien, Kankri realizes the connection between that fluttering feeling in his chest with the boy sitting beside him, and he nearly laughs out loud upon discovering it. And all at once he is both afraid and desperately curious as to what happens next, because when was the last time anyone here was _hopeful?_

"Not much at the moment. I think it's quite nice you've been spending time with the humans, they seem very open to sharing their culture. Were you and Dave listening to music?" Kankri says.

"Yeah, he was showing me this Earth music called rap or something. He's shown me around his old hive- I mean house, before, too. It's pretty nice of him, but I think he's also just bored out of his mind," Cronus says, shrugging. "So anything you wanted to do?"

"Actually, if you're not busy, I wouldn't mind spending some time with you, I don't believe I've engaged in a word-dump, I mean conversation, with you in a while," Kankri says.

Cronus chuckles. "Alright, shoot."

"Cronus, while I understand you use that idiom as a figure of speech and nothing more, it could prove triggering to some and you should be sure to forewarn of references to weaponry or violence," Kankri says.

"Ok, whatever you say chief," Cronus says. And it just takes off from there, Kankri calming himself into the familiar trance-like state of delivering an essay, thoughts of the implications of hope and its origins momentarily placated in the back of his mind.


End file.
